As far as sleep was concerned, I got like an hour. If I'm lucky, and that's including the time I snoozed through my alarm. So, yeah, disaster.
And that's because I had an anxiety attack so bad last night, I just sobbed and sobbed for hours. I would stop crying, just to start it up again. Which sucks. But like, I survived the night. So that's good?
I tried calling my family. And I know that I probably stressed them out as much as it stressed me out, because I called sobbing. And really, when I call someone crying, I just need to be distracted. I need to talk about why I'm having anxiety for like 2 minutes tops, then I need to be distracted.
I was talking to Melissa, the lady I work for and she told me that I need to enlist a friend I can call at night when/if this happens again to just say "Distract me, I need you for like ten minutes" But, I don't like to bother people at 2 in the morning when I can't breathe I'm having so much anxiety. It's hard enough to do that to my family members. ..
But when it comes down to it, having one anxiety attack this bad for the first time in a long time is great. Like, that means there has been improvement with my anxiety, right? I mean, I feel like I can manage my life better. So that's also fantastic. Oh, also, it's been 2 years since I've been off anxiety meds! Look at me go! :D
Today at work, kids were really good. They took nice long naps while I sat brainlessly and watched Kitchen Nightmares on BBC America.
Then after work, I just napped. I slept more when I napped than I did when I slept last night. I HATE that. I was even offered to get a little extra dough by watching the neighbors kids, which on any other day would have been so awesome. But I couldn't do it. I just knew I wouldn't have the energy for it.
But I pulled myself out of bed and I went to Zumba, which is good. My muscles hurt today. Like everything in my legs and lower abs really hurt. It was a challenge. But, really fun. I need to keep going because I feel really good when I dance around like a fool.
I just finished showering, and I made the mistake of putting yoga pants on... like the really comfy ones that are a size to big for me now... and now I don't want to put jeans on and have to go outside in the rain. I love the rain, especially coming from a desert but it's chilly. I'm kinda hungry, and my mini fridge has got juice in it... Which is good, but I'm craving sushi.
Side note, I've written sushi several times tonight, and each time, I write sushit, then have to delete the t.
Well whatever, I'm just going to go and do it. I'm going to get sushi by myself again. Because, who do I know in this city? No one. That's not true. I mean, I know people, but it's just tough to organize hanging out with people. . . especially since I don't know anyone that well. . . and I'm shy. Whether people believe me or not on that one it's their own choice, but I am a shy person.
I'm out going to go get me some sushi now.
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