as i cry

i cry thinking that tears are no good.
it's strange.
i feel like a liar.
i used stand on my little soap box saying that tears are good. i would give this whole speech about it will really help you feel your emotions. and how it heals these emotional wounds we have. and once we really feel this pain we've been carrying around, only then can it heal. and crying is one of those ways that we feel pain. so it's really good just to cry. a good cry every now and then is just what you need.

i'm am full of shit.
i don't know why i said all that.
i don't know why i thought others would believe it.
i just wish this thing never happened with a person that i love. because my heart just hurts every day when i think about what was done. what was said. and what still is being said. i don't want this to be hurtful any more. i want this person to know that i still love them. i want this person to forgive me. but this person doesn't even talk to me.

but as i sit here crying, i just think about how full of shit i am, because i don't feel better. and i can't even come up with a solution to my problem.