Sleep talking

You go through stages in life, where sometimes things are tough.
I notice when my sleep pattern gets all messy that I'm going through a rough patch. I will stay up pretty late, or fall asleep then wake up at 1 or 2 in the morning and stay up all night. Some good solid rest would be nice, but it doesn't seem to something my body will agree to.

I've realized recently that things happened in my life that have deeply impacted me for who I am and the person I've become. I'm not going to share publicly what those events are, because I need the assurance that people won't judge me for what happened.

Sorting out these events seem really weird. I've even joined a support group online. Which seems weird that I've taken that step. But I feel that in order for healing to truly occur, I need a place to go to talk where I can feel free to express who I am, to not feel pressured to talk, and not feel pressured when I am not ready to talk. Talking can only do so much good. And when you force someone to talk about something they aren't ready to talk about, it just seems to hurt more.

Today on the bus, I think I saw this girl that was in a movie at the Chicago Underground Film Festival last weekend. I kept looking at her, but I couldn't tell for sure. But then I realized I was that creepy person on the bus.

I don't know what I'm really saying. I've taken benadryl and am very sleepy. I've noticed nights when I take medicine that makes me sleepy I have a higher rate of calling people and texting people in my sleep. I've taken the measure this week to place my phone across the room to prevent that from happening.

It's unusual that I feel like I can fool everyone when I'm sleeping and answer my phone and pretend I've been awake for a long time. I don't think anyone buys it, except myself. I guess I'm only fooling myself.

I've got a lot to do in the morning. I'm also battling a lot of nerves right now for my upcoming performance.

I'm just sleepy and can't seem to rest.