Well, today is a little better.

Before during and after my 24 hour shift, I felt like I was going through one of my emotional funks. I woke up on Sunday morning from an unusual dream.

I was working, and I was on a break and in Des's office, just chatting about the many stresses of the job. In a moment, Des had to leave, and I sat down behind her desk, and a woman came in. In a whirl she told me she could see through the smiling mask I wear, and can see the deep sadness in my heart. This strange woman approached me and touched softly the side of my face, it was the kind of touch a mother might have given a young child, then she covered my eyes. See, I couldn't tell if she was actually speaking or if her voice was echoing inside my mind. See what it would have been if it wasn't for you. A flash went in front of my closed eyes. I saw something.

I startled awake. I exhaled. Recalling my dream, I smiled. I felt like I had made a difference, I felt important. There was a brief moment where I thought that my existence had meaning. I thought I was something. Then, I tried to recall the vision I had seen, and I vaguely recall something about a boy... then there was nothing. As quickly as the good feeling came as I awoke, it left. I saw nothing. There was nothing. Nothing would be different without me. It was just a dream. I am just a speck on a map. I am just 1 person out of 6.8 Billion people. I am not unique. I'm low in the pecking order at that, in many aspects of my life.