The last few days

have been super rough.

I can't remember the last time I stayed up until 5 am having such intense anxiety that I couldn't even breathe. Actually, I remember. It was back when I had the 60 year old woman as my roommate. And she was like constantly throwing bad joojoo my way... and she had those damn chihuahuas... Yeah. That was over a year ago.

So it felt out of place.

It wasn't right.

I thought I was done with those anxiety attacks.

I've wanted to smoke these last few days.

Cigarettes.

Weird, right?

I've never smoked. In my whole life.

Why do I suddenly want to do that?

But it seems like it'd calm me down.

I don't know. That sounds ridiculous.

They would probably make like 50 more times anxious than I already am.

but anyway.

I can't stand these feelings.

They are not helping me. Today, I was so mad, that I realized these feelings have to stop. These stupid thoughts in my head are done. That's it. I fired them. They can't live in my head. They are no more.