I could have been asleep there. I was reading a book. I was drifting off into a beautiful dream land, and the book that was half propped up by my pillow and half being held onto with my left hand came and hit me in the face! How annoying.
Whatever. I guess that's just the way my night is going. And now, now it's 4 AM.
and nothing happens at 4 in the morning. nothing. nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing.
I'm sleepy.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
It's happening!
I saw almost a month ago the Philippe Gaulier is coming to Chicago to teach a Clown workshop.
I looked him up on Google to learn about him. I really wanted to take his workshop. But it was expensive. I went back and forth between saying I was doing it, and saying I wasn't that it was a little ridiculous. Then I was told I had to choose. And I did it. I am signed up. And I made the deposit.
I was worried about money. But then, people in the 3 other people asked me to babysit in the neighborhood for this coming week. Sweet. Extra cash. And I was left work projects by the people I nanny for, and so I will continue to get paid this week and next while I clean the closet and play room and put away old clothing and old toys. So everything is working out. And I didn't need to freak out. :)
This is happening, and I'm very, very excited.
I looked him up on Google to learn about him. I really wanted to take his workshop. But it was expensive. I went back and forth between saying I was doing it, and saying I wasn't that it was a little ridiculous. Then I was told I had to choose. And I did it. I am signed up. And I made the deposit.
I was worried about money. But then, people in the 3 other people asked me to babysit in the neighborhood for this coming week. Sweet. Extra cash. And I was left work projects by the people I nanny for, and so I will continue to get paid this week and next while I clean the closet and play room and put away old clothing and old toys. So everything is working out. And I didn't need to freak out. :)
This is happening, and I'm very, very excited.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Sleep talking
You go through stages in life, where sometimes things are tough.
I notice when my sleep pattern gets all messy that I'm going through a rough patch. I will stay up pretty late, or fall asleep then wake up at 1 or 2 in the morning and stay up all night. Some good solid rest would be nice, but it doesn't seem to something my body will agree to.
I've realized recently that things happened in my life that have deeply impacted me for who I am and the person I've become. I'm not going to share publicly what those events are, because I need the assurance that people won't judge me for what happened.
Sorting out these events seem really weird. I've even joined a support group online. Which seems weird that I've taken that step. But I feel that in order for healing to truly occur, I need a place to go to talk where I can feel free to express who I am, to not feel pressured to talk, and not feel pressured when I am not ready to talk. Talking can only do so much good. And when you force someone to talk about something they aren't ready to talk about, it just seems to hurt more.
Today on the bus, I think I saw this girl that was in a movie at the Chicago Underground Film Festival last weekend. I kept looking at her, but I couldn't tell for sure. But then I realized I was that creepy person on the bus.
I don't know what I'm really saying. I've taken benadryl and am very sleepy. I've noticed nights when I take medicine that makes me sleepy I have a higher rate of calling people and texting people in my sleep. I've taken the measure this week to place my phone across the room to prevent that from happening.
It's unusual that I feel like I can fool everyone when I'm sleeping and answer my phone and pretend I've been awake for a long time. I don't think anyone buys it, except myself. I guess I'm only fooling myself.
I've got a lot to do in the morning. I'm also battling a lot of nerves right now for my upcoming performance.
I'm just sleepy and can't seem to rest.
I notice when my sleep pattern gets all messy that I'm going through a rough patch. I will stay up pretty late, or fall asleep then wake up at 1 or 2 in the morning and stay up all night. Some good solid rest would be nice, but it doesn't seem to something my body will agree to.
I've realized recently that things happened in my life that have deeply impacted me for who I am and the person I've become. I'm not going to share publicly what those events are, because I need the assurance that people won't judge me for what happened.
Sorting out these events seem really weird. I've even joined a support group online. Which seems weird that I've taken that step. But I feel that in order for healing to truly occur, I need a place to go to talk where I can feel free to express who I am, to not feel pressured to talk, and not feel pressured when I am not ready to talk. Talking can only do so much good. And when you force someone to talk about something they aren't ready to talk about, it just seems to hurt more.
Today on the bus, I think I saw this girl that was in a movie at the Chicago Underground Film Festival last weekend. I kept looking at her, but I couldn't tell for sure. But then I realized I was that creepy person on the bus.
I don't know what I'm really saying. I've taken benadryl and am very sleepy. I've noticed nights when I take medicine that makes me sleepy I have a higher rate of calling people and texting people in my sleep. I've taken the measure this week to place my phone across the room to prevent that from happening.
It's unusual that I feel like I can fool everyone when I'm sleeping and answer my phone and pretend I've been awake for a long time. I don't think anyone buys it, except myself. I guess I'm only fooling myself.
I've got a lot to do in the morning. I'm also battling a lot of nerves right now for my upcoming performance.
I'm just sleepy and can't seem to rest.
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