My forgotten blog.

I often times forget that I have a blog.

I like this blog like I like my men, I can use it for a while, get bored, move on, then go back to it every now and then for a little fun. That was a joke.

I am always trying to make new connections in my brain with jokes.
Tonight, I joke and eat fire!
I have had a recent interest in fire eating. And I know a small little trick that involves a little fire eating. If it goes well, I will post a little video online.

And I think my stand up friend is coming tonight, an he can film video. Fingers crossed for both of those.

Doctor Who? (pop culture monologue)

This is a monologue I wrote about Doctor Who. It Contains spoilers. Doctor Who? (Lizzy is standing in the audience looking at one person. Addressing that person.) Lizzy: Knock knock. Audience member: Who’s there? Lizzy: Doctor. Audience member: Doctor who? (Lizzy stands and smiles awkwardly and lets the moment sit for a second.) Lizzy: Do you get it? You get it don’t you? DOCTOR WHO. Right?! (Addressing other people in the audience now and the doctor who theme song begins to play) Lizzy: RIGHT? People get this joke? It’s a joke about a TV show that’s been on for 50 years! It’s about a time traveling alien who gets himself into all sorts of predicaments all across space and time! And the name of the show is called Doctor Who! And then (s)he said “Doctor who” a line to early. And so that made my knock knock joke funny. (Lizzy moves to the middle of the stage where people have brought out construction paper and crayons for her to make her very own Tardis (the space ship in which the Doctor travels in. )) Doctor Who is set up where many different actors get to play the character of the “Doctor” because instead of dying, he regenerates, and so that’s we currently we’re on the 11th doctors, and he’s around 1103 years old. But his age is debatable, but that’s a different story. The current doctor is played by Matt Smith, he took over after David Tennet, I feel bad for Matt Smith, because he’s not nearly as good as David Tennet. I mean Matt is fine and all but David is the best. Don’t get all snooty with me and act like I don’t know who the best Doctor is because I never saw Tom Baker, because I’ve seen Tom. He’s the doctor between 1974-1981. He’s the second best Doctor, with his scarf. But back to David Tennet. He had three different companions during his run. When they paired David up with Catherine Tate, it was no less than magical. Donna what her characters name.They were brilliant together. They were like this weird quirky couple while never actually being a couple. BUT SPOILER! They made it so that Donna can never see the Doctor ever again or her brain will burn up! WHY DID THEY LET ROSE BE HIS WHINY COMPANION FOR 3 WHO SEASONS WHILE DONNA- WHO IS AMAZING ONLY GOT ONE SEASON!?! I actually got worried about Donna during the episodes called The End of Time, where she started to remember. It was scary. But also during the End of Time, we all know David Tennet is going to die, I mean that the Doctor will regenerate, and it’s sad. It’s so sad. I cried. (An ensemble member comes out and writes BAD WOLF on the chalkboard behind lizzy. Lizzy takes a deep breath.) About 2 months ago in Bucktown, and I saw graffiti that said “Bad Wolf” And I stopped in my tracks for a second then turned and slowly looked behind me and down the street, because logically, I know this show is made up, but I was going through some weird shit in my life, and I would have LOVED just absolutely LOVED to turn around and see the blue police box, and then meet the Doctor and help him save Earth and he would have then invited me to join him on his travels and I would have climbed in the Tardis, and left. (Holds up her picture of the Tardis that she has created.) Curtain.

Guess what?

CHICKEN BUTT!!

And also

I'm nervous because I asked a man out on a date. No more of this hanging out bull shit. A date. And our phones aren't really texting each other. So I'm nervous. And I can't believe I actually did that. And I don't know why, but if he says no, I can just quickly move on I suppose.

This morning

I dropped Olivia off at school today. I was playing on the playground with Daphne and Greta when this other sitter came up to me and told me I had something red on my cheeks. I paused for a moment imagining different endings. One where I used swears and made all the children cry. One where I punched her in the throat and made the children cry...

I took the route without immediate tears and said.

I know my cheeks are red.
And walked away. 
You don't think I've never noticed that my cheeks are red? Ugh. Leave me alone and save your commentary until after I leave.

Friends

I am so lucky. I have some of the greatest friends in the world. I just love to be around them and talk to them.
I know that there are tough times in everyone's life, and it's so nice to know that I have friends there when I need them. I hope that I am there for them when they need me. <3
I love you, friends.

i know i don't have all the details but

I know that I'm just an outsider looking in, but when you make a quarrel public over Facebook, it is really easy for outsiders to make their own assumptions. And the assumption I choose to make is that both of you are immature assholes and I make that conclusion after a few years of knowing everyone who is involved. and i know that you have an elitist complex and you make people kiss so far up your ass that they get stuck in the vortex that is your ass. Now when I say "you" I'm talking about everyone involved. Because you choose your friends. And you choose people just like you (or those posers who choose to try to be just like you and lose their own identity trying to appeal to an arrogant elitist like yourself.)
But a fight with your friend is really a fight with yourself because you're getting angry at a quality you wish yourself you didn't have.

But the thing is, you're being insanely rude. And you've always been as such. And I'm so glad that you showed me your true colors early on. That way I didn't get hurt and I didn't get stuck in a world that revolves around a spoiled brat like you. It's refreshing to look at my life and see that I'm moving forward. I'm a little bummed that you can't move forward too. But I understand that you're stupid. And I knew that when I left.